The Days Between

 Alright, I've been thinking, which is a terrible thing. Or..... Maybe it's not. August 1st through the 9th marks the days between Jerry Garcia's birthday and his passing. So.....

Every day marks a new day and a new journey. My journey, as I'm sure is the case with a lot of us is, punctuated by music. Always has been. And as I mark the days of this journey, here are some milestones. 

The bold and italicized paragraphs above are to remain as the preamble of this living document. 

So, here we are, 90 days. I started thinking about this post a week ago. That naturally took me back to the 1990's. The first song that came up when I googled the 90's was, of course, One Week. It had to be. 

One Week - Bare Naked Ladies

So, then I got to thinking about the week's leading up to 90 days. Dealing with the IRS, trying to schedule an MRI and other adult BS. It felt like things were falling down on me which obviously lead me to this. 

Heavy Things - Phish

Things are falling down on meHeavy things I could not seeWhen I finally came aroundSomething small would pin me downWhen I tried to step asideI moved to where they hoped I'd be

If you're wondering who "they" are, it's them and they're everywhere. It's what I needed to hear at the moment but things got better and here I am 90 days in and everything right. 

Everything's Right - TAB

Focus on today and you'll find a wayHappiness is howRooted in the now

And there it is, everything's right so just hold tight. 

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Now that I've blown past day 60 I've been searching for a song that speaks to me. Listening for the secret, searching for the sound if you will. Then, the Universe spoke to me. There it was, from a Phellow survivor. The man himself, Trey. 

Blaze On by Phish I linked the album version of it because no one has 30 minutes to deal with my BS. 

And then one day you find to your intense delightThat three wrong turns can really make a rightSo why not be like me? be proud of all your crimes'Cause when I screw up once, I do it two more times!!!

Then, I read something I needed to share. We all need to give back. Like Bob Dylan said, "You're gonna have to serve somebody" Well, gotta give it away now. So here you go. 

Give it Away Now - RHCP 

There's a river born to be a giverKeep you warm won't let you shiverHis heart is never gonna witherCome on everybody, time to deliver

I threw in a couple of other songs in there for those that sniff around. Anyway, you got one life, blaze on. 

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As I've approached my 60 day mark, which is still a day away, I've been listening to music. One song came to mind as I was driving the other day in Corpus Christi traffic. 

Ballyhoo's "Middle Finger" sums up my relationship with traffic.


But that's not really what I'm here to talk about, it's really this next song. For a long time I couldn't figure it out. I mean, I suppose it was easy enough. I'm not Bob Weir's writing buddy, but it seems like a plea to Jerry Garcia to stop using. Then there's the question if being a friend is somehow enabling his addiction. I suspect however, that I'm reading more into than that. I have a feeling I'm looking at it through my recovery glasses.  

Slowly though, this is becoming one of my favorite songs. With some powerful lyrics. 

Patience runs out on the junkieThe dark side hires another soulDid he steal his fate or earn it?Was he force fed, did he learn it?Whatever happened to his precious self control?

Yeah, whatever happened so his self control? Well, maybe it's an allergy? 

My favorite line though. 

Like him, I'm tired of try'n to heal

For real though, trying to heal sucks. At any rate, here's Victim or the Crime ~ Grateful Dead.

As I hit the 30 days of sobriety I was hit with a rainmakers tune. Thoughts of my sister and her influence on me. Her affinity for music changed my life and enriched it. This song helps me remember the months with 30 days and to stay out of jail. Which I've done, so yay me.

Thirty Days - Rainmakers 



Time marches on and as it did, so came 46 days. So, naturally, Phish came to mind with their song. "Taste the fear, for the devil's drawing near" is a grim reminder that I could still be detached from reality and my family. 

46 Days - Phish 



So, now that I've hit 50 days, I look back at these two milestones with the intention of making this a living blog. My first in a long time. I hope to keep this updated with new music that marks this journey. 

Alsoly, if you haven't read my other two posts on this new blog, feel free. 

My Nemisis and My Origin Story 


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